


Inhumanity

by kuiin96



Category: Avengers: The Initiative, Black Widow (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Character Study, Gen, mildly angsty, widow POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-29 23:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuiin96/pseuds/kuiin96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They never knew.How could they?She was The Widow after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inhumanity

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work.kinda heavy.i hope u like it!plzz comment!!

They thought she wore a mask to protect herself.

That as an aftermath of the conditioning and brain washing the Red Room did to her,what they made her,what she 'survived through', she did not let her feelings come to the surface,couldn't express them.

They pitied her,that she was 'broken'.

It amused her.

They didn't know.

She never did feel those love,pain,hate in the intensity others did.

She didn't feel the anguish she was supposed to when people she knew,comrades died or got hurt.

 At least she never seemed to feel what she observed in the people around her.

 Never did her emotions take over her,rob her of reason.

 It wasn't as if she did not feel anything. Concern for the physical condition of a team mate, of their ability to function optimally. Irritation at discovering them vulnerable. Empathy required to think about the well being of others.

 She always knew when their personal demons would emerge from the depths. Could see it in the shaky smile of Stark, the bunched up shoulders of the doctor, the shaking hands of Steve after a particularly difficult nightmare. It always irritated her, the evidence of their vulnerability. It always affected the teams functioning ability.

She observed and analyzed everything. Every weakness, every quirk.

 Essential data.

\-------------------

The easy familiarity, the comfort she only felt around Clint.

 It wasn't a romantic relationship that most thought it was.Their bond was perceived by the others that way. It was a companionship, built from years of working together.Of him learning how to be around her.Of her adapting to function with him, learning to let him in.

 In a way they were similar.

 They did not want from each other more than what the other could give. She could give him what he needed, a steady support, a rock, the belief that she would always be there. The one constant he could always rely on to have his back in combat, to survive, to be there. And for a man who had lost as much as he had and been through hell the way he had, that was rare.

In turn he did not expect anything from her, was not uncomfortable by her not having the normal responses to things, he was the only one around whom she could let the mask slip.

 The facade she kept up around others to make them comfortable.

 To let them believe she was normal.

 The tiny expressions, the twitch of her lips, the shifting of her body to convey the appropriate emotions she was supposed to be having. Those were the responses they expected of her, the Black Widow, the cold unfeeling assassin.

She did in way care for her team. In her own way.

\---------------------

  She often wondered if the others ever noticed her act.

 She was a master manipulator after all.

That skill was not limited to her targets only. A useful skill, taught and perfected by her makers, essential not only on missions but also utilized in daily life.

A twitch of her lips to display pleasure at a successful mission, amusement at Clint's and Tony's antics. The pursing of her lips for disapproval, the slight suppressed trembling of her arms and fists in situations where displaying her anger or fury was required. Drawing in rattled breaths when expressing sorrow and pain. The hunching of her shoulders when showing fear. A slight shaking in her hands and tremble in her voice when going over past memories to tell of the pain felt reviewing them. All this done to show that there was something under that cold hard exterior. That some minor trace remained some where deep inside of the girl she used to be. That naive girl who used to try to fly across the floor on her toes. Who used to believe in good.

But she knew better, having seen and experienced the cruelty if the world first hand, that there was no good. There was only power and control. Either you had control over your own life or you were as powerless as a puppet, dancing to the tune of you masters pulls and tugs.

 Hence she had control over her own life by controlling others the only way she knew. She made tiny displays of emotion and by that twisted, molded and morphed her world the way she wanted it to be.

 But never too much. Only doing what was necessary, what was required.

It was tiring but she never made a wrong move, never slipped.

Never let them feel her 'inhumanity'.

**Author's Note:**

> PLZ do COMMENT!!!


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